THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE
I am trying to see things in perspective.
My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter
chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot
have this, because chocolate makes dogs
very sick. My dog does not understand this.
She pouts and wraps herself around my leg
like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me
to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in,
she eventually gives up and lays in the corner,
under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the
universe has my best interest in mind like I have
my dogs. When I want something with my whole
being, and the universe withholds it from me,
I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl.
She thinks this is what she wants, but she
does not understand how it will hurt.
— THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird (via bermira)
1. Push yourself to get up before the rest of the world — start with 7 a.m., then 6 a.m., then 5:30 a.m. Go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sunrise.
2. Push yourself to fall asleep earlier — start with 11 p.m., then 10 p.m., then 9 p.m. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. Erase processed food from your diet. Start with no candy, chips, cookies, then erase pasta, rice, cereal and then bread. Use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. Get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. Sit and eat while doing absolutely nothing else.
5. Stretch. Start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. Roll your head, stretch your fingers, stretch everything.
6. Buy a 1L water bottle. Start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. Buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. Write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. No detail is too small.
8. Strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear drawer into the washing machine. Put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash everything. Then make your bed in full.
9. Organize your room. Fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor and light a beautiful candle.
10. Have a luxurious shower with your favorite music playing. Wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. Lather your whole body in moisturizer, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs and the back of your neck.
11. Push yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. Smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. Bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. Realize how much you can learn from your dog.
12. Message old friends with personal jokes. Reminisce. Suggest a movie or sushi date soon, even if you don’t usually follow through, push yourself to follow through.
14. Think long and hard about what interests you. Crime? Sex? Chinese folklore? Long-forgotten romance etiquette? Find a book about it and read it. There is a book about literally everything.
15. Become the person you would ideally fall in love with. Let cars merge into your lane when driving. Pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. Stick your tongue out at babies. Compliment people on their cute clothes. Challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for an entire day, then two, then a week. Walk with straight posture. Look people in the eye. Ask people about their story. Talk to acquaintances so you become friends.
16. Lie in the sunshine and daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t possible. Breathe in, breathe out. Open your eyes and take small steps to make it happen for you."